My Sister Solves the Financial Crisis

It's still raining. The couch is still uncomfortable, no school again today, and I'm tired. I have to wait yet another 24 hours for the great Palin-Biden Debate (perhaps more entertaining than the Lincoln-Douglas ones) and apparently, there is something awful happening with the economy.

It's days like these, when even the internets seem boring and tivod House seems dull, that an email from my sister can switch it all around. And lo and freakin' behold, she does not disappoint. Witness the following -- the names sneakily altered to protect the innocent:

"Dear Family,

The economic prognosis (save John McCain’s “fundamentally sound economics” outlook) sucks. The prospect of getting any help with college tuition has all but disappeared.

NOT TO WORRY! I have a new plan. We will “Home College” our kids -- with your help. If all goes well, the school will remain open for the younger children of our illustrious brood.

Curriculum and Staff:

PE and Art/Art History/Agriculture – Mom

Small Business Dev/Real Estate/Economics – Brother In Law

Creative Writing and BS – Ms Picket (Minors for the latter are also offered by the entire faculty)

Risk Management/Sports Marketing – Other Brother-in-Law

Advertising/”Fair and Balanced” Poli-Sci – The Kid

Psychology/Intellectual Organization – Sister One

History As I See It/Food Services – Sister Two

Math and Sciences – Dad

Architecture/Yoga/Creative Arts – New York Cousins

The following seminars will be offered throughout the academic year by Other Cousin:
International Relations: "Why Palin can't really see Russia from her house"
So, This is College: "How to skip class and get the most out of your booze"

We will be accepting applications on a continuing basis. Enroll now as space is limited! Tuition is based on merit and need, as we, the teachers, realize we might need to pay our students to attend."

Despite being named Professor of BS, I am still down with the plan. Plus, imagine the online possibilities of the Home College with Visiting Professors from all over the blogosphere offering virtual classes in Modern Philosophy and the Overshare, Nutrition (featuring classes in Does This Wine Bottle Make My Ass Look Fat? and Pancakes for Dinner) or... what have you?

Economy be damned! We're gonna make these wikkid smaht kids even smahter!