MeMe HeHe Style

So the awesome LilSass (who I tend to live vicariously through) hit me up on the meme thing, the one where you have to write six things about yourself that might have gone unmentioned. Since I rarely talk about myself (ahem, cough cough) and since it is also my anniversary today (that's right: 14 years which means I have been officially married half of my life) (ahem, cough cough), I have decided to alter the plan a bit.

Here are 6 things I did not know about The Kid until after I had married him:

1) He is on occasion allergic to beer. I know this because once while eating seaweed salad, which at the time seemed very exotic and mildly scary, he started to develop a fuchsia rash on his neck. As it crept ever upward, he sauntered casually to the bathroom to check it out. I waited. And waited. I finally got the nerve up to rescue him, sure that I would find him laying comatose on the floor of the Japanese restaurant bathroom, but at last, he emerged. Still bright red, but breathing. Turns out, it was not the seaweed salad but in fact the beer. He remembered that it had happened once before (um? ever think to tell ME that?) and it would happen again. Except that the next time my advice would be to tell him to drink more*. It worked.

2) He had a dog named Lollipop. Not King or Brute or Buddy, but Lollipop. And he loved Lollipop, the hot dog dog.

3) He has some serious issues with screen doors being closed. And bugs. And rodents. And sharks. Also, with liberals, which makes for a lot of Carville/Matalin nights around here but much less intelligent. And with more bugs.

4) He always thought he would marry a 30 year old black woman. She is always 30, always black, and always a woman. He got one out of the three. I am pretty sure that in his fantasies, she is really tall too. Which means he got one out of four. I thought I was going to marry Jason Bateman so go figure.

5) He once passed off Jim Morrison lyrics as his own. His father thought he was a genius and a deep thinker for about 30 minutes, which were probably the best 30 minutes of The Kid's life before he met me. He still writes songs but never writes them down. So sad for the world -- all the music it'll never know.

6) While hanging out backstage with a band I was working with, The Kid, *who had obviously been trying to get that allergic rash under control, tried to convince the lead singer of the band, who was mildly famous in general and definitely famous for his very cool shades, to trade glasses. He worked on the dude for a good twenty minutes: wire frames from Lenscrafters for vintage rock star specs. He probably would have tried to sell him some song lyrics if I hadn't stepped in. I banned him from the backstage for months.

And 7 for good luck) Before I married him, I had no idea how crazy I would become, how grumpy, how weird, how worried, how tired, how confused I would be sometimes. I had no idea that he would have the tolerance of a pre-school teacher when dealing with my ebbs and flows and that after 14 years, he would still find me funny and still find his way home.



So young, so stupid, so many hats ago.

*****

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