The GFYO was supposed to start pre-school today. The GFYO is spiking a fever and wheezing like an old man huffing Marlboro Reds. I figured we would just let the Big First Day pass by so I neglected to mention it. I figure we'll head to the doctor's for some meds and do more of the hanging out that we are famous for.
Instead, his ever-nosy sisters started in on us both bright and early.
THEY: You are sick. You are sicky sick. You don't feel goody do you?
HE: (thinking) Why are they talking to me like that? Weirdos.
THEY: You are all saddy sad. Poor GFYO. You --
And this is where I start waving my arms in the background, a foolish umpire trying to get my message across: DO NOT MENTION THE SCHOOL WORD --
THEY: -- will miss your --
More waving, and also some hopping on one foot. DO NOT SAY IT!
THEY: BIG FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!
HE: (looking at me, knowing I am a big fat liar) B-b-but? There's school today? I wannnaaaa go to school! (Cough. Wheeze. Swoon.) I waaaannnnna go!
The girls snag their back packs, turn tail on us both and skip out the door. Ta-ta, they taunt, Off we go to the Awesome Land of School! Have fun, sicko!
Crying, wailing in fact, ensues. Followed by sobbing and that lower-lip quiver which is a major killer. Especially when it appears under blood-shot, feverish eyes. Poor GFYO. He had his backpack packed and everything. He knew where his cubby was. He wanted to get his hands in that sandbox, wanted a little of that circle time love, wanted to get the hell away from me for a couple hours.
After the doctor, I will buy him a muffin AND a popsicle. I will sit with him on the couch and read that book. And when the girls come home from school? I will rifle through their bags hoping that they have mountains of dreaded homework. MOUNTAINS OF IT.
Ohhh! So mean and exactly the job of big sisters. Being the baby...I know this torment well.
ReplyDeleteAh HA - NOW I see that we have the same morning vibe going on. It must suck to be the youngest when your older siblings enjoy the torture so much.
ReplyDeleteMOUNTAINS of homework if there is any justice in this world.
Now that was just plain evil! I would email their teachers and REQUEST mountains of homework! And to be on the safe side, I would go online, find some nasty math, spelling and geography questions and make up your own. Just for the sake of doing it - because they didnt think of "sake" when they did GFYO wrong this morning.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and have fun with the paybacks!
Mountains of MATH homework.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe you can wash the towels and make them fold them. Or worse? Make them fold their Dad's laundry. Touching Dad's private stuff always gives my girls the willies.
I know, right?
ReplyDeleteBut for the record: when they found him asleep on the couch last night, they tiptoed around and didn't make a peep.
Oh POOR little guy! I am assigning the girls a reading assigment AND a five paragraph essay. Or maybe just sending him ice cream in the mail.
ReplyDeleteAw! I hope he's better very soon!!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Carolyn. I'm assigning a book report of "The Old Man and the Sea" to "Them".
ReplyDeleteI'm sending Push Ups for the GFYO.
mmmmmmm.....Push Ups.
I hope you buy him one BIG ASS muffin.
ReplyDeletePoor GFYO!! When he does get to school, he'll be even more of star cuz he'll be all new and exciting to everyone. And poor you, I'm just guessing your first full day of freedom had some exciting plans laid out!
ReplyDeleteI say you both eat popsicles in front of the girls tonight while they eat a dinner full of veggies.
Pobrecito. He's probably scarred for life. But that's what family is for.
ReplyDeleteWow. Are you sure they aren't step-sisters?
ReplyDeleteMAW!! Step sisters would force him to clean. Instead, they are giving him the last Nutty Buddy in the freezer. For the record, yo.
ReplyDeleteAw! I hope he feels better soon and can get to school. Make those girls do extra lessons at home, then tell them there's no way they can be sick for the school year!
ReplyDeletePoor baby. One day, one day the youngest gets revenge. I'm still waiting, but I believe.
ReplyDeleteOh poor little guy!!! I feel so bad for him :(
ReplyDeleteOh man. Just think, one day you're gonna have to force him to go to school.
ReplyDeleteBig sisters are hell on wheels! I tagged you! You're it!!
ReplyDeleteAw... poor thing.
ReplyDeleteThat's great, though, that he looks at school as an "Awesome Land" rather than my son, who acts as if he's being thrown into Gen Pop at Attica for a 17 year sentence...
he made it to school today, no problem. nothing a little cough syrup couldn't cover up.
ReplyDeleteBut he has an adorable story and his own private first day of school.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with AAYSR!
We have a rule in our house: don't upset the young one!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOf course, no one abides by it.
Hope he feels better.
If that was my family, it would have been my husband spilling the beans, and also saying to me "why are you waving and doing the 'time out' thing so furiously? What?"
ReplyDelete