Pissed and Vinegar

I’ve been struggling for an hour to come up with the perfect opening line. By struggling I mean: pacing around, making dinner, talking on the phone, putting the kids to bed, smoking butts, and switching between the radio and the TV for distraction. I have not been “writing” per se, except for in my head -- where naturally I do my best work.

I’ve convinced myself that the perfect line will sum up all the piss and vinegar of this day so well that I will become so satisfied with it that my anger will simply just melt away.

Instead it boils down to this: there is no perfect line for a pissed off day. There aren’t even really sentences for it.

But bullet points work -- mostly because they encourage reading between the lines – so I offer some here, all pissy and without editing:

1) Children should say thank you to the paid employees or volunteers who run the activities they are involved in.
2) Parents of children who do said activities should do the same.
3) Do not complain about something completed if you were not involved in completing it.
4) Your opinion only matters when you express it. Find a way to express your thoughts. No excuses. Email it. Or write a letter.
5) Vote.
6) Even if you want to say “No”, find a kinder way to say it. “No” is a great word, and I encourage it, but be respectful of all the people who always say “Yes.”
7) It is not difficult to slice oranges!
8) When you’re doing all the work and notice someone who is as well, say “Thank you.” It matters and you might be the only one saying it.
9) Do not, as someone who is running an activity for my child, be angry when I go to said child who is bawling and barely breathing and hiccupping with distress and say, “she was fine until you came down” when you know full well that I was watching every minute from a very far distance while that kid who never cries cried uncontrollably. Until I came. Helped her, and sent her back to you because she is not a quitter, which you should have noticed.

God, I’m a bitch. I am also pathetic in the way that I hang on to my upsets, and even more pathetic in the way I express them.

My grandmother was a do-er of the first degree, and my mother too, so it’s in my blood. My grandmother was also WASPy polite and contained like my mom, so I regret (sometimes), as I am sure they do (all the time), my public beefs. But they loved manners and really, isn’t that all I am talking about now?

It’s been a long time since I wished more people would do the work that only a few people do. It doesn’t bother me anymore, but it does make me want to throw in the towel from time to time. I know there is a small minority in every town (like yours) who sign up to do the stuff that needs to be done. I understand as well that the people who don’t either never will or have reasons for not doing so, but slicing fucking oranges? Who says no to that?

And by the by, some of us are not coming to our crying kids to annoy you or because we baby them, but because we actually have a reason to be there and the ability to help.

Piss and vinegar in my veins only turns me sour. So I leak that crap here, and hope against hope that I become better for it.

Still, I worry and wonder: am I the only one who has these pissy days? Really? Is it just me?