Summer? What Summer? I Cancel Summer!

Yup. Cancelled it.

Last night was the annual camp-out in the neighbors yard, which is beyond awesome even in the rain, but I think the girls got four hours of sleep. The GFYO was up until ten playing Wii Soccer with The Kid. Today, two of my kids enjoyed parent-less hanging out and swimming as guests at a yacht club, while the other scored a play date with a new BFF, and all three (as always) were the beneficiaries of my tender kindness and love.

Yet, each one has cried in exhausted dismay today. Each one has hit, fought, talked back and ultimately, forced me into mean mom mode. One day in, and I've already made the "it's gonna be a loooooongggg summer" speech and also the "can't we allllll just get along?" speech, and though it's obvious that all four of us are over my podium-taking, take it I do. LISTEN UP Short Drunk People: I hold your fun in the palm of my hand (where my car keys are). Don't test me.

Also: it's hot. Sweaty 90s hot. I attempted to garden and decided that I need several trees and a couple misplaced bushes removed and more importantly, a professional landscaper. I give up. My dig it and wing it mode of gardening is simply not paying off, so... I paid Ro and the GFYO ten dollars (each!) to a weed a 4x6 spot. I was THAT desperate. (They stopped fighting for the twenty to thirty minutes it took them, so it was sort of a win win. Little do they know, I do not have two tens in my wallet, or even two ones...)

No one has remembered to close the screen door. The GFYO has been naked or close to it much of the day. The puppy post-his first serious haircut looks like a big-headed sheared mutant lamb: I love him the way you love an infant with pimples. Tomorrow, the girls start sailing and Bridget is being a freaking-out about it/too-cool-for-it 10 year old: nervous and tween 'tude go hand in hand I know, but really? This is about the most awesome "no one over 21 allowed" yacht club/camp experience that has ever been invented. I mean, I'm not even allowed in the club house!

Why summer? Why do you mock me?

There was one really great part of the day. I watched the USA World Cup game in uninterrupted although anxious joy. I settled in with a homemade ice coffee and my American flag painted face and cranked open the windows to let in whatever breeze was around. But now that I reflect on it -- uh oh. I am starting to wonder what it might have sounded like outside my house ---the "oohs" and "oh god"s and "go go go"s and finally the "YES!" I screamed from my kitchen when Landon finally scored...

Crap: I am sure my neighbors think I am conducting some torrid affair with my non-existent landscaper.

So yeah: summer is cancelled.