Does My Butt Look Big In These Pajamas?

I am not a morning person. 

There has been nothing about me that has found the beauty in a sunrise (unless it's after an all-nighter and then I gotta kinda squint to see it while I high five some partner in crime). I have never heard anything melodious in a rooster's crow and think mostly, SHUT IT rooster, you nag. There has never been anything at all that is morning-like or -esque or -ish that I have liked, and in fact, if not for coffee and the occasional bacon, egg and cheese and the Three Short Drunk People, I am pretty sure noon would be my Morning. Noon or maybe 11 on an especially busy day. 

(I think this is why the music business suited me like the suit people wear when they find a suit that fits them perfectly. No one likes an early-rising rock star.)

This morning, at the ungodly 7:10 am, I found myself downstairs and hustling through some idea of short order cookery and also finder-of-missing-things-extraordinaire, and I thought: can not these children see how misplaced I am here at this hour? And naturally, they could not.

They were like they usually are at the crack of ass: hopped up on sleep and good nature and talk talk talking more than I think anyone should talk when decent people are asleep. And by decent people, I mean: me.

In the interest of managing all their expectations, I got it done while half-dressed (and half-awake) and after the girls left, I hustled the GFYO to pre-school in what might be considered "pants" but are really pajamas. Maybe not so much pajamas and maybe more the clothes one would wear when one anticipates never leaving the house. Elastic waist, flannel, saggy in every way. 

In the driveway, he said, "are those your exer-sis-size pants?" and naturally he can't pronounce the word because it is a foreign word and I say no. 

He says, while he approaches the door to the car, "are you wearing your pajamas to school?" and I think about that for a minute and I weigh the many options I have to respond and I say, yes. And then I add: it's because I went to college and after you do that, you are totally allowed to wear your pajamas anywhere.

My sweet GFYO, my new partner in crime, he climbs in the car with me and we ride the two point five minutes to his school. He says nothing; I say nothing (what with it being now 8:25 in the morning which is like three hours before I should be waking up). 

He hangs up his coat on the hook with his picture taped on it and he turns to me and he says, "mom!" and I say "yes GFYO" and he says, "mom, I am SO going to college."

And I say I hope so and I also say I know you will and I kiss his cheeks and send him off and out and on his way. And then I drive home. I think there is not so much more that I could accomplish in one day and while I consider the lure of my duvet and my pillow for a while, I beat it back. 

I drink more coffee and I race off to another day. I put on pants with a zipper and I carry on.