Ground Control to Major Mom

I started singing while skiing when I was in my early twenties. I was an instructor then (best job I ever had) and after hours of teaching, I would kill the end of the day by taking as many runs alone as I could fit in – and I would sing. I would sing half out loud, half to myself, slipping into some kind of sweet meditative space, shaking off the day, hugging the hill and feeling fast and happy.

On Sunday, after a few excellent hours skiing with my girls, my cousin and her daughter, I was singing again. First it was “Cradle of Love” by Kelly Willis, a song I hadn’t listened to in a while (and one I only just realized was loaded with all kinds of dirty innuendo). Then it was Bowie’s “Space Oddity,” not the first song on my play list ever, but it was referenced in a book I’m reading so I guess that’s how it showed up in my head.

“Sitting in a tin can, far above the world…”

It’s such a scary song in a lot of ways, but I can relate. The last week or so, I feel the same way: kind of hovering above my life, floating around all disconnected and mildly confused. Not sure why. My friend mentions that January just plain sucks. She’s probably right. But I think it’s more than the month that has thrown me off.

The contractors in my house, sweet and kind though they are and doing the work I have longed for, make for a weird kind of daily companion. Add to that a feverishly sick husband home from work, a broken car, a Giant Three Year Old with massive ‘tude, and our newest housemate, my young cousin, who has come to live with us for a while. (It’s been a week since she arrived and I am only just now settling her in, unloading drawers to give her space, removing little girl debris so that the room can become her own for as along as she needs it.) Plus, I still think there’s a part of me that wants to run away to a permanent girls weekend in Maine.

God, I am creature of habit. When my little ways get thrown around, I get all wiggy and weird and out of it. I know Barack kicked ass in South Carolina (yea boy) and that I have to get new bumper stickers for my new car (!), but I haven’t checked the Florida returns all day. I did finally get some food for the house, filled all the snack jars, and have the laundry under control, ran and attended a couple meetings, sent and returned the countless emails I’ve neglected, but I still have this feeling that I am forgetting something wildly important.

What is up with that?

Tomorrow is another day, and I'm sure I'll land safely back into my life. It’ll be quieter here and maybe that will make the difference. I’ll make sense of my closet, maybe clean out the junk drawer, sort the shoes in the mudroom, figure out how to set the radio stations in the car. I’ll write ten thousand more emails, make some calls, cross more stuff off the list. We’ll finish B’s “Planet-in-a-Can” school project (who knew Jupiter has 62 moons, all of which have to be suspended by wire from the styrofoam orb: awesome).

Jupiter is a mashup of color. The planet Earth, however, is blue…