Thursday, September 4, 2008

Packed Up, Nowhere to Go

The GFYO was supposed to start pre-school today. The GFYO is spiking a fever and wheezing like an old man huffing Marlboro Reds. I figured we would just let the Big First Day pass by so I neglected to mention it. I figure we'll head to the doctor's for some meds and do more of the hanging out that we are famous for.

Instead, his ever-nosy sisters started in on us both bright and early.

THEY: You are sick. You are sicky sick. You don't feel goody do you?

HE: (thinking) Why are they talking to me like that? Weirdos.

THEY: You are all saddy sad. Poor GFYO. You --

And this is where I start waving my arms in the background, a foolish umpire trying to get my message across: DO NOT MENTION THE SCHOOL WORD --

THEY: -- will miss your --

More waving, and also some hopping on one foot. DO NOT SAY IT!

THEY: BIG FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!

HE: (looking at me, knowing I am a big fat liar) B-b-but? There's school today? I wannnaaaa go to school! (Cough. Wheeze. Swoon.) I waaaannnnna go!

The girls snag their back packs, turn tail on us both and skip out the door. Ta-ta, they taunt, Off we go to the Awesome Land of School! Have fun, sicko!

Crying, wailing in fact, ensues. Followed by sobbing and that lower-lip quiver which is a major killer. Especially when it appears under blood-shot, feverish eyes. Poor GFYO. He had his backpack packed and everything. He knew where his cubby was. He wanted to get his hands in that sandbox, wanted a little of that circle time love, wanted to get the hell away from me for a couple hours.

After the doctor, I will buy him a muffin AND a popsicle. I will sit with him on the couch and read that book. And when the girls come home from school? I will rifle through their bags hoping that they have mountains of dreaded homework. MOUNTAINS OF IT.

23commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...

Aimee said...

Ohhh! So mean and exactly the job of big sisters. Being the baby...I know this torment well.

Meredith said...

Ah HA - NOW I see that we have the same morning vibe going on. It must suck to be the youngest when your older siblings enjoy the torture so much.

MOUNTAINS of homework if there is any justice in this world.

Lipstick Jungle said...

Now that was just plain evil! I would email their teachers and REQUEST mountains of homework! And to be on the safe side, I would go online, find some nasty math, spelling and geography questions and make up your own. Just for the sake of doing it - because they didnt think of "sake" when they did GFYO wrong this morning.

Good luck and have fun with the paybacks!

Leslie said...

Mountains of MATH homework.

And maybe you can wash the towels and make them fold them. Or worse? Make them fold their Dad's laundry. Touching Dad's private stuff always gives my girls the willies.

MsPicketToYou said...

I know, right?

But for the record: when they found him asleep on the couch last night, they tiptoed around and didn't make a peep.

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh POOR little guy! I am assigning the girls a reading assigment AND a five paragraph essay. Or maybe just sending him ice cream in the mail.

Momo Fali said...

Aw! I hope he's better very soon!!

cIII said...

I'm with Carolyn. I'm assigning a book report of "The Old Man and the Sea" to "Them".
I'm sending Push Ups for the GFYO.
mmmmmmm.....Push Ups.

Kevin McKeever said...

I hope you buy him one BIG ASS muffin.

Nash's Mom said...

Poor GFYO!! When he does get to school, he'll be even more of star cuz he'll be all new and exciting to everyone. And poor you, I'm just guessing your first full day of freedom had some exciting plans laid out!

I say you both eat popsicles in front of the girls tonight while they eat a dinner full of veggies.

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Pobrecito. He's probably scarred for life. But that's what family is for.

unmitigated me said...

Wow. Are you sure they aren't step-sisters?

MsPicketToYou said...

MAW!! Step sisters would force him to clean. Instead, they are giving him the last Nutty Buddy in the freezer. For the record, yo.

for a different kind of girl said...

Aw! I hope he feels better soon and can get to school. Make those girls do extra lessons at home, then tell them there's no way they can be sick for the school year!

Amy said...

Poor baby. One day, one day the youngest gets revenge. I'm still waiting, but I believe.

Jen W said...

Oh poor little guy!!! I feel so bad for him :(

Anonymous said...

Oh man. Just think, one day you're gonna have to force him to go to school.

Anonymous said...

Big sisters are hell on wheels! I tagged you! You're it!!

Manager Mom said...

Aw... poor thing.

That's great, though, that he looks at school as an "Awesome Land" rather than my son, who acts as if he's being thrown into Gen Pop at Attica for a 17 year sentence...

Anonymous said...

he made it to school today, no problem. nothing a little cough syrup couldn't cover up.

Heather said...

But he has an adorable story and his own private first day of school.

Good luck with AAYSR!

Meg said...

We have a rule in our house: don't upset the young one!!!!!!!!!

Of course, no one abides by it.

Hope he feels better.

Susan said...

If that was my family, it would have been my husband spilling the beans, and also saying to me "why are you waving and doing the 'time out' thing so furiously? What?"