The good news is the gang warfare is over. The bad news is that it ended not in a peace treaty or an alliance but because a couple of giant trees fell heavy across the embattled ground. Like literally smack on top of the forts that made up the embattled ground. RIGHT ON TOP.
I wish I could say that the trees toppled in a windstorm or a nor'easter but alas, they did not. They fell by human hand in what might be the work of a passive aggressive neighbor. The horror! Passive aggressive tree-chopping neighbors walk amongst us!
So the hulking browning wretched fallen trees have literally crushed the handiwork and architecture of the girl gang and the boy gang. Both structures lay beneath the bulk of the axed maples, leaving them squashed and crushed and "ruined mom! omigod mom! ruined!" It's a giant mess of branches and trunks, which could be fun in another way come to think of it, but for reals? RIGHT ON TOP OF THE FORTS?
Neighbor Friend Ally and I have powwowed. We have assessed. We have walked the embattled ground that now seems even more ruthless. We have seen the battle line and where it has fallen and we know what it says: get yer stinkin' kids a new lot of public woods to build in because this one is officially off limits!
Maybe. Maybe not. There's always this option:
Rebuild I say! Rebuild!
PS: Those orange chaps are a must-have, no?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Tree Chopping Passive Aggressor
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21commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
They're a must-have for me. And I wish I was kidding, but I could totally use some.
Do they come in other colors?
Hey, did you know that LaCrosse is the new soccer? A bit brutal, though. My kids do both.
rebuild! rebuild! oh yeah, the pants are a must have.
:-)
Oh, what an ahole! And yes orange chaps a must. Do they make them in my size and would my farming neighbors be disturbed by or rather enjoy them. (I'll wear pants under them I promise!)
Also, I have my letter to a reader set to post on Wed morning.
Oh definitely re build. Use power tools. Paint them pink. Or orange, to match the pants. Either one.
We can rebuild it...we can make it bigger, stronger...faster? Maybe not faster.
Are you like me? Like dares? Like to take a challenge and push the limits? Oh wait, who am I talking to - you wrote those plans.
Ok, so build damn it build! And paint them hideous colors facing only the jerk who cares not for young children but only for his self (I am assuming man, because woman would not destroy, only talk, scheme, plan, scheme, finagle, and scheme).
What'ev I say, what'ev! I am hoping this destruction and what not happened whilst the boy and girl gangs were at school?
I dont know if I would like a pair for myself per sey, but those chaps sure are hot!
I would use the tree to rebuild. It's poetic.
Umm, so sorry the bonfire moved onto your property. We were just trying to remove the trees...
Rebuild, reinforce, and then let me know if those chaps are available in purple!
Oh and paint it like the Heidelberg Project in Detroit. http://www.heidelberg.org/fun.html
That would be awesome...especially if everyone had bright chaps!
RYC Smart? No. Lucky? Yes.
I think the pants are over doing it. Those chaps alone would work.
There's gotta be a whole husband fantasy world developing around those chaps.
Love, love, love the rebuild using the tree idea! I think you should definitely do that, make it huge and post an open letter to your neighbors on it (well -- really to one particular neighbor). I think it should say something along the lines of:
Dear Neighbors, thank you for the new wood to help us make our forts even more special than they already were. We are really lucky to have neighbors like you who really understand what it means to be a kid. We dedicate this new, improved (and I hope wildly colorful) fort to you.
Or, you could just get right to the point and spray paint "Take that shithead!" on it. No? Alright, then I'm out of ideas.....
I don't think I like your a-hole, tree chopping neighbor. It kinda makes me want to set your neighborhood kids loose on his property with a Costco sized package of toilet paper in the dead of night. Just sayin'.
Holla. I always wanted to be the Frank Gehry of neighborhood Forts. I'm seeing a Paintball Turret. And a Water Cannon. And a Slide.
In my town, the chopper would have been fined $1000 PER TREE for the random choppage. Rebuild! Bigger and better than ever!
The chaps are kinda hawt, Picket. OK, super hawt.
You tell me what time, and I'll be there with my hammer and nails to help out.
Building the fort is of course the best part of any fort operation so the rebuilding should be loads of fun. You may want to tell the kids to booby trap it this time.
Psht screw that, a rebuilt is certainly in order!
I would even go as far as planting new trees as an extra F*u to the passive aggressor... booya!
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