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Sarah was asked the question -- each child has a message for us: what are they trying to teach us that you resist? Or take for granted? -- and here's how she responded:

"My daughter is five years old. For me, that's old -- when I dreamed of having children I had a very clear vision of what they might be -- I'd have a girl, she'd be a Tomboy, active, interested, rough-and-tumble. We wouldn't coddle her, so she wouldn't be needy, we'd take her hiking, so she'd be tough. I had it all figured out. I pushed Colby, my dear, sweet, tender, sensitive girl. Instead of making her tough, we gave her frostbite. Instead of making her sporty, she chooses pink and frilly, and asks incessantly for make-up. I thought she was so smart we'd have her out of diapers before her little sister was born. Instead, she's just in the last month overcome her Fear of going on the toilet. She tests me, frustrates me, is challenging and so damn different than what I expected -- what was "meant to be."

And I'm so damn glad that she's stubborn enough to keep teaching me these lessons over and over again. The strength of this little girl, in her innocence and love and glittery, pink, tu-tu'd, spirited way, has taught me to open my heart to who she is, not who I thought she might be or who she was in my vision. She grows me as a parent and as a person. Yes, I wish I could change all those little and big things I did to my first-born that might stay with her as some question in the back of her heart that she's not likeable or accepted. But if she can stand it, she and I may become catalysts for one another to exponentially expand our little love for one another and I can one day impart to her how grateful I am for who she is -- and for her patience in opening my eyes and my heart."


How would you answer the question?