The GFYO might take pictures of his puppy's poop, but he does not love the puppy, and nor does the puppy love the GFYO.
The puppy has sharp teeth. The GFYO hops and leaps to avoid them. With every lurch, the puppy wishes to bite him more. It's such an ugly dance of love and hate and I remember it well.
***
The Kid left for Budapest, which Carolyn says I should pronounce "budeapesht" and which I will from now on.
I will still call Massachusetts straight up: and not Massaholeachusetts. I have my limits.
I will miss him. I will sleep with the lights on.
***
I have a deadline to write a book.
I have ten or twenty starting sentences...
And not much else.
I keep writing about what I know.
I am no JK Rowling: I have no imagination.
***
Maybe I will write a book of first sentences?
***
The puppy humped the GFYO.
And the GFYO finally got to love that puppy,
so wrongly --
"He's cuddling me!" he said.
He's not, I said.
"You need to be his boss," I said, grabbing the one boy from the other, grabbing the skin of that animal like his mother would.
The GFYO needs some balls and I don't know how to give him them. But I know about humping and power. And I won't let the puppy get the upper leg on the GFYO.
***
This is the least I can do.
9commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
When you figure out how to give a 5 year old balls, let me know. Better yet, roll a few out your door and have 'em bang a right on WSD. We could use a few here, too.
Well of course Sam will never get the upper leg on the GFYO. He's so little he can probably barely hump past the kneecap.
Maybe he can has the puppy's after the big snip snip in a few weeks.
I am nothing but first sentences. In fact, I'm sitting here trying to come up with the perfect sentence to tell you how much I loved this post. This made me laugh so loud at 6 a.m., today, I woke up my kids. C'est la vie. They had to get up anyway.
And closing sentences. You rock the closing sentences.
Don't worry, he'll grow his own pesht....sooner than you think.
The title of this post sounds like the title for a dating advice book for teenage girls.
Sigh... the humping. We are dealing with that at our house, too! I thought the neutering would help but no such luck!
That's hilarious that GFYO calls it "cuddling". My son calls it "dancing".
What's this nonsense about not being a writer? You writes wikked good!
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