Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Alien

The Giant Four Year Old did not approve of the alien costume I had just spent hours an hour sewing hot-glue-gunning and could not be convinced otherwise. Until R put it on and worked it yo which hit the GFYO where it hurt: he is a performer after all (seriously, go watch that) and so he would not be outshone. From there on out, it was a solid twenty minutes of karate chops with all FOUR of his arms. I was pleased and slightly annoyed simultaneously, which is also a good summation of most of my days.


The Alien slunk up a few quiet hours later. Mom? he said. Uhhuh, I said.

I need a new friend.

Why? I said.

Because I don't have any.

While I didn't anticipate the GFYO saying that, I definitely didn't figure that kind of sucky news would come from a boy with four arms and twenty fingers. Maybe from a boy with snot pouring down his face or something like that, but definitely not from a fierce Alien kinda kid. Not from the GFYO.

I am pretty sure the dude has friends. I know he does. I think he's just tapping into some sense of his own...well, mortality is the wrong word: maybe its a sense of "i am not the ruler of every frickin universe I touch" and frankly, that's not necessarily a bad thing. 

Which is not to say I didn't internally freak out and start madly mapping out the play dates I would make. I did both those things. The Alien's four arms were flapping around as he tried to find the words to tell me what his brain was whirling with -- something along the lines of "you don't know where their houses are" so how could he possibly go over to play -- and maybe something about last year's BFF finding a new BFF -- and today there was something convoluted about what would happen if no one likes his toys which I considered just a ploy for more toys. Kids got game. And it should be noted, also got a $2 action figure.

Truth is, the whole thing is a little upsetting. Because he's four, because I lamely, wrongly figured boys didn't stress this stuff, and because, while I think the drama will be over before the weekend, it just sucks when your kid feels like ass. 

Just sucks when your kid has four super cool Alien arms that move in tandem and look nothing like the socks they started out as and you only have two human arms that, though they can hug and cuddle and stuff, will not be able to solve all the problems in his universe. Ever.

Plus, there's no "beaming up" option for earthlings like me.

There is however buckets full of candy round the bend, which works on all species I'm told. 

****


PS: I realize my recent mentioning of R's MRI might have caused some stress. Let it be known the pictures were of her arm, from an old injury (or something), and that she is perfectly healthy otherwise. Your kindness and concern does not go unnoticed. 

22commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...

Carolyn...Online said...

I think your arms can heal more of the GFYO's hurts than you realize.

Meg said...

Ditto.

Samantha said...

aww poor GFYO if only he(and all the other FYO's) knew how totally cool he is.

PS- I believe he has bunches of friends at the park like EVERY-TIME I take him!

Kristin @ Going Country said...

I would like to see a new video of him in his alien costume.

And you tell the GFYO that he's welcome to visit Blackrock, where he can make friends with Mia, Leda, Otty, Pitty, Coco, Bonnie, Millie . . .

A Free Man said...

Ah, things like that just crack your heart wide open.

I'd love to see a photo of the alien costume.

Amy said...

Hearing your child say they have no one to play with is heartbreaking. Hearing your child say anything hurts them is heartbreaking. Recently some boy called my 10 year old fat, it took everything I had not to go in there and kick his 10 year old ass.
I feel your pain.
I'd be planning playdates too.

minivan soapbox said...

I picked up one afternoon, and found her sitting at the table, while all the other children sat and laughed on the play mat. I asked the aide "is she in trouble? did she do something wrong?" No, they replied, she does this every movie day, she likes to sit alone. Apparently mine does not WANT any friends, she wants to sit with the Teachers.

I hope GFYO is just having a bad day sweetie.

Heather said...

Oh heavens!

He is adorable and giant! I have a very, very tall 5 year old. She has the same problems in kindergarten. It is hard.

We moved from a "loved like a aunty" full of friends sitter to school this year. If you find a way let me know. (We took a break from pink and told Olivia that Daddy is our boyfriend).

I also love your comments lately. Thanks for that.

MsPicketToYou said...

free man: the pictures cometh.

kristin: um dude? can I get some canned tomatoes when we visit? and pears?


you guys, all you other guys: um, love. from me and from the GFYO too.

Anonymous said...

I'll totally be GFYO's friend. Of course, that might ruin his future friend-making chances, but so what?

for a different kind of girl said...

agreed, a hundred times over.

i would totally fill his social calendar with playdates with my boys were you near!

Anonymous said...

Do you guys have Wii? If you do, we should totally have this play date at your place. Other than that, yeah 3 is cool.

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Yes, Ms. P. Your son can play with the animals, and you can eat your way through the stores in the cellar. Does that sound like the perfect vacation, or what? Except I would suggest you wait until the house is warm again. Which would be sometime at the end of June.

I wish I was kidding.

Susan said...

Oh, don't you hurt in the heart when your babies hurt? I'm sorry GFYO was having a bad day. Let us know how the playdates go..and if Kristin will let me, I want to go with you to Blackrock. She's gonna make me some fries to go with my tomatoes and pears. YUM.

Anonymous said...

1) re: MRI... phew! I was definitely alarmed by that passing reference, but didn't want to make any kind of "!!!" alarmist response in case the MRI was related to something that happened back in the dark days before I started reading you, and I'd come off as (extra-)offensively stupid. All of which is to say: glad everything's okay.

Re: "Because I don't have any"... let's just say I get that. A lot. And it breaks my heart in about a thousand different ways.

cIII said...

I'll build a Fort and the GYFO can come Kick It with the Goat and Tater. The Goat is all Princess-y and stuff, but the Tater lover her some Aliens.

Momo Fali said...

It is so hard to not jump in and fix every problem, isn't it? My nine year old daughter tells me all this stuff about school and I want to call people's parents and say things like, "FIX YOUR KID", but I can't.

The Floydster said...

Such a helpless feeling when a child hurts and we can't do anything to take it away AT THAT MOMENT. Fortunately, your children have an empathetic mom who will let them learn life's hard lessons with as little knee-scraping as possible. Hang in there, Mom!

Jen W said...

That BREAKS my heart. I totally would have been frantically pulling out the phone book scheduling play dates, too! Hugs to GFYO

Nash's Mom said...

FYI, when the babysitter cancelled at the last minute last night, the first thing Nash said was "How about if I go to Kip's?". We stuck him with someone else, but just sayin'....

Deeples said...

THANK you, for clearing up the GYFO mystery for me. I gleaned from my excellent skills of deduction that he was either a very funny young guy or a VERY naughty husband. LOL.

I remember my son taking the whole friend thing really hard. He was in a class one year where the boys all drew Pokemon and Dragonball Z characters every day and the most popular boy would then RANK THE KIDS by how good they were at drawing and that determined their ENTIRE POPULARITY and my son was always... always... ALWAYS last. He would sit up at night and practice drawing these ridiculous anime pineapple-headed people while I thought of ways to take out this vicious drawing bully at his school.

It was like he had to play Assholes and Presidents every day and he was always, always the asshole.

That was a tough year.

Lipstick Jungle said...

I had this same experience yesterday - sans alien invasion - when my adorable, beats my heart and holds my soul - 6 year old says to me "Mom, when we were walking down the alley after getting off the bus, Callie told me I am a dork.

At first I cried inside a little. And then I remembered, Callie is a girl. She has got a girl crush on my boy!

WHEW, crisis averted!

And did you know there is a difference between "best buddy's and best friends"? In a 6 year old world, there is a HUGE difference.

hmmmmm.

This coming from the same child that voted for a rock!