AND AT LAST -- SURPRISE!

See, we kissed and made up, me and Middle Aged Woman. And though I doubt those dudes left any beer? She still came around. She's classy like that.

When You're Out, Go Out All the Way

When I went back to college in 1999, I discovered that the campus I attended

published a student directory every year. They were free. Miniature

telephone books that featured students names, addresses and phone numbers.

We referred to it as the Stalker's Guide to UM-Dearborn. 

I'm sure there have been sufficient clues in my blog, my comments on other

blogs and on Twitter to make stalking me none-too-difficult. I recently had

a post published on MidLifeBloggers.com, and I used my real name on it. At

my age, I feel the need to claim credit (or blame) for my stuff, I guess.

Anyway, since I'm 'out' now, I thought I'd do a meme I have found amusing in

the past. Go to Google. Type in your first name and the word 'needs' and

have fun with the results. Since my first name is Mary, there were lots of

results about how Mary needs your prayers. I'm sure Husband would agree with

this, but it's not really me. Anyway, here are some of my faves:

Mary needs to back off and let the dancers shine. Because I'm always getting

in the way with my damn narrative, and all my "Look at ME!"

Mary needs shadows. To complement the ones under my eyes? To contrast the

glory of my aura? I think I need shadows to hide in. When there's not a

convenient Men's Room.

Mary needs to piss. This is nearly always true. But better since the

surgery. At least I can sneeze without crossing my legs. TMI?

Mary needs to schedule appearances in better venues. I'm thinking it's time

to step out of the shadows (tie-in - get it?) and start making appearances

that really count, like on the payroll of Fabulously Wealthy Writers, Inc.

Mary needs sleep. At no time will this be more evident than at about 2:00

p.m. every damn day of the school year.

Mary needs numbers. Is this a paean to my blogwhore-itude? Or does this meme

know I am a math freak? I got to interview Chris at CSquaredPlus3 for

Citizen of the Month's Great Interview Experiment. My first thought on

visiting her site was ecstasy over the math reference. I have to go play

with my Star Wars action figures now.

Mary needs a bit of independence. This one is a little like taking coals to

Newcastle, a place that must be overrun with coal by now. I tend to be so

independent that I will search a target store for HOURS rather than ask an

employee where the thingamajigs are located. Husband can get very irritated

with my independence. I sometimes forget all that 'helpmate' stuff and

struggle along without asking for help because, I don't know, I'm just

stoopid about those things.

Mary needs help with open bite wound. Because I'm thinking something I write

will one day come back to bite me in the ass.