I am translating this loosely from the Spanish so please bear with me:
"At last! A plastic baby doll that will pretend to suck
your daughters nipples!"
I think this one says:
"SLURP SLURP SLURP"
or maybe
"OW! My nipplez iz burnin!"
How I wish I spoke Spanish, but I think this is pretty self-explanatory. After your daughter, or hell! why not! after your son pulls on the tank top with the plastic nipple attached, Bebe Gloton (which means "babydoll bites boobies") latches on, gets busy, and then cries with gassy colic (too much garlic perhaps?) until satisfactorily burped. The process repeats every 45 minutes until your small child goes frickin' crazy, buries the doll under an pile of Webkinz and hides in her/his closet murmering, "makebebeglotongotobed, makebebeglotongotobed."
I've seen this happen before. Minus the Webkinz, but still.
Somewhere a helpful toy developer is engineering other brilliant toys like Mini Corrupted Laptop Never Works and Ick, I'm Sick: Make Toxic Mold In Your OWN Kitchen, and for fans of Bebe Gloton, Baby Barfalot, in which simulated vomit must be removed from a berber rug.
PS: Breast feeding IS a beautiful thing --- for grown-ups.
11commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
Someone I know was talking about these on facebook the other day - and was still UNSURE how they felt about it....I was like...hmmm, yuck.
Oh my god. I am in shock. Do we really need to drag small children into the breastfeeding debate? I am all for breastfeeding, as I breastfed my 2 children, but this is a bit much for me.
Missy
I think I'll stick with Bag 'o Broken Glass.
Tagline:
Bet you won't do That again.
Uh. No. Please.
Oh my god - it's like a starter kit for teenage pregnancy.
Carolyn's comment made me cackle so loudly that one of my 4yo girls came over to see what was going on -- and before I could switch the screen: "Daddy, that's a pretty doll. Can I..."
"NO."
oh, don't forget the toy cell phone that rings at 3 am with the wrong number and gets incoming drunken texts repeatedly with messages that say, "why'd you leave me?" And things like that. Fun, fun, fun! Oh and maybe a My Asshole Boss doll that damages a child's self esteem?
Awesome!
Oh. Ew. I'm a fan of breastfeeding, and I'm a fan of letting kids imitate adults to learn, but oh, frickin, ew.
Can they not just *pretend* to breastfeed? That's what my girls did....
I can read Spanish and I checked out the website. It is attachment parenting in Spanish.
I have never been an attachment parenting fan; all the co sleeping, on demand feeding, and never leaving your baby seems impractical. I do have hippy friends that do it.
They might buy the doll, but many breastfed until their children were nearly three. Not for me, thanks.
GAH!! That is so horrible I don't even know what to say other then, GAH!!!
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