Liveblogging Swingtown (Kinda)

So the Stud and me grew up in The Ice Storm. The movie was shot at my school for fuck's sake and when we watched it, we were sure we saw houses forts we got drunk in recognized. The one thing we knew for sure: our parents never attended any key parties. (Eww, gross, shut up.)

And now comes this new teevee version of the most salacious parts of an excellent movie, Swingtown, and sure enough we two were front and center. And it went like this:

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The Stud is all, I think everyone lives in Swingtown and I'm all wha? what the fuck Stud? and he's all, no it happens and I'm all, in your dreams dude and then he refers me to some "facts" written in Boston Magazine and i'm all, Duuuuude. Be serious. Must I remind you again and again ad guy that sex above puppies and babies sells just about everything. Must I do everything around here?

And then he says, let's watch the stupid show.

Which we do.

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Sort of. Because I am yapping too much throughout it and he has to leave at 5 in the morning and is pretty much just waiting to go to bed.

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But anyhoo, he says you are on crack if you don't think this goes on here and I say wha? HERE? and he's all listen dude don't be naive and you've heard the rumors. I get all feminsta and I say, that's just a bunch of mean girls being mean. And he thinks about that for a minute, maybe 30 seconds, before he says, you might be right about that.

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And then I say or he says -- honestly, I'm not sure what happened first -- but one of us says: our parents never ever did this shit -- right? -- and they never ever wore those clothes.

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He says it does happen anyway, everywhere. And I repeat that he just wishes it did and he shakes his head at me like I am so so so immature. And I say, I am NOT immature and I have totally watched the WE Channel and Oprah and know people swing, duh, but it's not like it's rampant and taking over the whole Small Town and what the freakin' fuck are you even talking about?

And he says, I have to get up at 5 in the morning.

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And I'm all WAIT?! Do you know something I don't know?

And he says NO! I thought you knew something I didn't know!

(Which is funny, really, because generally he thinks there is little I know that he doesn't...)

To which I say, No! No! NO! I do Not. Know. Anything.

And then I say, I think you are kinda pervy.*

And then the Stud says, I gotta go to bed.**


* which i didn't really say

** which he really did