1) Handed Oldest Daughter wadded up cash ($13 worth) for upcoming field trip. "What?" she objects, "All singles? Really?"
2) Giant Four Year old said "fuckin" then apologized for saying the "S" word.
3) Second daughter asks for new sneakers. I go into full rant about how "i am not buying any more shoes for anyone ever; i am not in the business, missus, of buying you new stuff whenever you want it; why oh why is there always something wrong with your shoes; do you see any money in my wallet; that's right! there is NONE; and how is it possible that TWELVE granola bars could have been eaten in two days; I am never buying granola bars for anyone ever; what in God's name could be the matter with your shoes?"
Second daughter, completely un-moved by Mommy's meltdown, says, "Well, there is giant hole in the bottom and so my feet are always wet."
Oh.
New shoes for you then. Now who wants to give Mommy a big hug?!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
More Proof of My Parenting Genius
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9commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
Clear a spot on the shelf missy, Mother of the Year Award on its way!
Love the "s" word.
Try $13 worth of change next time. Pennies preferred. Better yet, Canadian. Take that, my little one!
I love that kids are so eager to swear without having any clue how to do it properly.
I would have been sorely tempted to mock the hell out of the kid, and then take a break to send a note to whoever's supposed to be teaching him spelling and grammar.
My, now 11 year-old used to call this little girl neighbor a "froggy bitch," all the time when he was 2. Oops! If I'd been a better Mom I would have been mad, but the thing was...he was right. Just kidding, I did make him stop. But he was right, she was an effen bitch!
Oh you make me laugh! I've had a few of these meltdowns...
I'm just happy that someone else has meltdowns like I do!!! Thanks for making me feel normal :)
Nice work. You've raised the bar for the triple threats of my ususal bribe/threaten/punish methods.
Can I have some new shoes?
FYI Totally voting Ms. Picket for President '16. Ya, Obama's getting elected twice.
Hey, you'll like this. I asked my son for some cash, as he hoards paper money and I forget to get any, he replied, "Fine, but all I have is a twenty or stripper change." I am not kidding!
(My then live in, college student, bartender cousin laughed his a** off.)
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