Friday, December 5, 2008

Small Town Ho-Hos (and a Hangover)

The Small Town is getting all Rockwellian. It's so scarily charming: the old houses lit up and sparkly from the inside out, the wreaths on every lamp post, and tomorrow Santa and the Mrs will come in on the Lobster Boat. If I had ear muffs and a muffler, I would don them. Maybe throw some white skates around my neck. 


Last night was the kick off: wine and wine and wine and some rum punch in an historic building crammed with homemade gingerbread houses. There were older gentlemen in tweed, ladies in Burberry, and me in my nicest jeans. There was cheer and good tidings and naturally, the whole thing rolled into a bender at a Small Town bar even though me and my neighbor pinky swore we wouldn't. Pinky swearing never works. Not with all the Rockwelliness and the wine. And the beer. And the... well, yeah, the beer. 

Here's the thing about Small Towns and Christmas time: it's one long credit card fueled drunk until January 2. It's gets dark and cold at like what? 3:00pm? so you gotta get things twinkly and dressed up in pine swag and ogle candy houses that look better than the ones you live in. You gotta forget your pinky swearing and stroll over to the pub, belly up with your neighbors and all your new friends, tell your secrets and some jokes and take the long way home.*

*Not because you meant to, but because you were too busy chatting and hahaha-ing to realize how far out of the way you had walked. 

Charity abounds! Like the guy buying all the drinks at the bar, and the very nice anonymous person who pulled all the plastic, newspaper stuffed ghosts off my tree (and left them on my doorstep). I appreciate it all. Actually, I appreciate the drinks more than the passive aggressive "it's christmas Picket! the ghosts gotta go" but hey, whatever. It's Christmas time and I got love in my heart and probably more booze coursing through my veins than blood. 

Tomorrow the tree comes in and the lights go on and it will be a Christmas miracle when my head stops pounding.



16commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...

unmitigated me said...

Better Rockwellian than Machiavellian...

patty said...

Picket, I'd belly up to the bar with you any time.

Even at Gates :)

Anonymous said...

Better Rockwellian than Dickensian, also. It's sorta grim here in the rust belt, so I liked reading about this; thanks!

Anonymous said...

And left them on your porch! Sorry Mizz Picket...I know this one is all about your Christmas juju and buzz and all. But I just can't get around that they left them on your porch!

For Myself said...

Your town sounds all jovial and picturesque and collaborative and historical and ...shit...it soounds incredible. I think I'd like to live there. I'd find some people to play cards with if I did.

Samantha said...

last night was a good time for us all at the picket house.

Heather said...

I hope I get a little bit of that fun stuff soon! :)

Anonymous said...

Can I presume you were using the "they're the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future" excuse before your tree got ghostjacked?

Meredith said...

Sounds like way too much fun...love a Rockwellian Xmas. Miami / Xmas...kind of a joke.

Carolyn...Online said...

That ALL sounds so lovely. I wish the price for charming wasn't the bitter cold. HoHoHo

A Free Man said...

Sounds like you're getting into the spirit (or at least the spirits). I'm still struggling - I'm trying - just can't find my Christmas spirit.

Meg said...

It all sounds lovely, but did you have to endure the never-ending Christmas carols or did someone bring bills for the jute box?

Lipstick Jungle said...

I wish my small town was more like your small town. We all compete to light the town, but no one leaves their house (especially when it is this f-in cold out).

I would belly it up with you too!

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Oh, Ms. P., you would have LOVED our booze-soaked party yesterday. And next one we have (which I hope is not for a LONG, LONG time--have mercy on me, MiL), you're invited and should totally come, distance be damned.

Jen W said...

See, now I used to follow the golden rule, "Liquor before beer and you're in the clear; Beer before liquor will get you sicker."

But you mentioned you started with wine, so I'm not sure how that fits in. Because if wine is technically liquor, then that means my golden rule isn't worth a crap because you sounded pretty hung over.

RhoRho said...

I'm just hoping our family Christmas eve doesn't end up a frat party like last year. Jager-bombs and all. Us hungover, and my kitchen floor all sticky and black on Christmas morning.