Woman spotted on the sidewalk, deep in chat with fellow sidewalk-stander.
She was sporting a Pucci-inspired mildly garish top. Elastic waist pin-stripe trousers. Very large eye glasses. Bangs combed, but maybe wet (or greasy?). Trader Joe's grocery bag. Holding a copy of "Feng Shui For Dummies." Let me write that again: Feng Shui For Dummies.
Because I have been incredibly and perhaps deliriously bored lately, this image and that book completely made my day. I totally rubbernecked. Which made me feel a little judgy and a little bit like a bad woman driver, but honestly?! I wish I could sneak around that lady's house and see what the Feng Shui she is all about.
I considered pulling the rig over and waiting for her to leave so I could follow her to the home in need of some Asian decorating magic. Is it money she wants? Harmony? Love? Would she consider moving the potted plant to the corner or the mirror to another wall? Will she sit down and read every word right away? Or will she tackle it more strategically, a chapter at a time? Does she have more shirts in her closet like that or different glasses? Would she notice me lurking around her bulkhead trying to peak inside?
The traffic shifted and my fantasy spy life ended. The dudes in the back seat were all shouty and squirting juice boxes and it was instantly clear how awful they would be as co-hort investigative journalists.
And lest you think think I or my house looks any better? I am currently wearing two different boots, newly arrived from Zappos (free overnight shipping! free returns!) with shorts no less, and only ten minutes ago, used my staple gun to repair the upholstery on the couch in the kitchen. If it doesn't hold (this time), I'll pull out the duct tape.
It is a very, very good thing that I do not live here:
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Glass House
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19commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
Plus, where would you go to scratch your butt?
Boots and shorts? Shut up! I want to see!
I love speculating about the lives of total strangers. I wonder what they would think of mine. Now THAT would be funny.
oh man--I know some people who think they can live there but can't. SERIOUSLY can't. And I'm related to them....sigh....
I know fo shizzle that I need the last little pig to build the house I should be living in.
And I whole heartedly agree on needing to see the boots and shorts combo--I'm sure my inner visual just ain't doin' it justice...;-)
When I used to live in the city, I used to love to take walks at night just so I could see in peoples windows and catch a glimpse of how they lived.
My delightful retail job gives me a perfect front row seat to a lot of people, and when times are slow, I spend a great deal of time creating backstories for them. You know you've got a keeper character when a coworker mentions the same person a few days later because they were struck by their 'unique' nature!
Thanks for coming by my place and commenting. I appreciate it! I'll be hanging out here, and hope to see you over at mine again sometime!
K, I loved the whole thing. Totally funny but come on, is Zappos not the best place ever. We always imagine magic little Zappo elfs waiting in your bushes to drop off your stuff. We can't figure out how it gets there so fast.
I wonder what the "Feng Shui for Dummies" would say about stapling your couch together? Nothin' good, if I had to guess.
I think you could've gotten the kids on board with a game of spy. But it could never live up to your expectations.
My mom used to have a book entitled: "Creative Divorce"
From what I've been seeing in the fashion magazines (OK I peak at them in the grocery store line), shorts and boots are all the rage.
I think you're totally holding out on us: the boots, the toe ring, the cowboy hat. You are so so cool. Just admit it.
And you know you really want to Feng Shui as well!!
From what I've been seeing in the fashion magazines (OK I peak at them in the grocery store line), shorts and boots are all the rage.
I think you're totally holding out on us: the boots, the toe ring, the cowboy hat. You are so so cool. Just admit it.
And you know you really want to Feng Shui as well!!
Sorry about that. Guess I don't get enough attention at home.
all I can do is laugh. I see people like that all the time...and I stare too. Because, seriously?
What? You didn't have your camera with you? Next time I want pictures of your crazy observations. M'kay?
I love boots and shorts. Plus, the combination is supposed to bring in harmony and great fortune.
--How to Party with an Infant
http://partywithaninfant.blogspot.com/
Im pretty sure shorts and boots, stapling and duct tape are not in "Feng Shui For Dummies", but I can also guarantee that big glasses, greasy bangs and elastic wasted pin stripes arent either.
No harm no foul - and I too would love to see you style'n and profile'n in two diff boots and shorts!
I absolutely have frequently left my house and gone to the grocery store or elsewhere unshowered and in my pseudo-jammies. I would say maybe the woman that you saw was me but a) I don't live on the east coast b) I don't wear glasses and c) I have other strange books, just not any from "The Dummies" series.
You have a couch in your kitchen? That's brilliant...to be so close the salsa and all.
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