Ummmm.... dudes?
The following are fifteen random negative, nasty, bitchy, awful, hurtful things I am spitting out to get myself all exorcised:
+++++
1) Your baby is not that cute. At all.
2) I do not care that your wife turned 50. She is a home wrecking bitch.
3) I mean really? You still think I care about your hobby? Which is a hobby lest you were too stupid to think otherwise.
4) The reason I stopped calling you is not because I was busy: it is because you were boring and I had better things to do.
5) You prance around in Prada in the Small Town: you look like an asshole.
6) I am pretty sure you used me and that you are a climber of mega proportions.
7) You're pink hair stripe has lost its luster and just makes you look like a mean bitch who is afraid of people.
8) No one cares as much as you think about all the kids you have.
9) You lied to me. Many times. I wish I could stop telling lies to you.
10) Bitch: he has kids. Back the fuck off.
11) Return my Pyrex plate, loser. And also: a "hello" would have sufficed.
12) You're coldness is not proof of your righteousness. It just makes you cold.
13) You ARE sexist. And a bad joke teller.
14) I said sorry. Many times. Many. Many. Times.
15) You ditched me because you thought I would be hurt and sad and let down. You were wrong. You should have known that I was the only one to save you.
+++++
It's easier than you think, this exorcism: just write it down. At least, I feel better.
But be cryptic. Don't actually hurt people. Which is another way of saying, if you think this about you? It probably isn't.
Feel free to play.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Let Me Tell You Why I Hate You
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31commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
I can't decide if I want to type out a really loud cat sound mrrwwooowww or if I want to give you an Amen sister.
Glad you exorcised your demons.
you are at it early this morning! yowzah.
remind me never to piss you off....;-)
and, ya, writing it down MIGHT keep me from saying it out loud. MAYBE.
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm feeling pretty intimidated right now.
I hate it when a mofo steals my Pyrex. I brought casserole to your stupid party and you get to keep my Pyrex. I don't think so. Cypress Hill's "How I could Just Kill a Man" begins to loop in my brain.
damn, now I feel all tingly.
1. Relish the boredom, school starts in 15 days, then you'll WISH you were bored!
2. You are only 14 you do not know more than me.
3. You do not always have to have the last word, but I'll give it to you anyway because I'm nice like that.
4. Sometimes it's okay to go with the flow and not make waves.
5. Sometimes it's okay to make waves and not go with the flow!
6. Youtube is not appropriate viewing for a 7 year old, so stop asking.
7. Getting your license is not a right its a privilege.
8. Quiet does not equal bitchy.
Super paranoid beeyatch over here....but none of these could be me, right?? After all-
1) My baby IS cute.
2) I don't have a wife.
3) Who the hell has time for a hobby?
4) Um, that might be me. But feed me beer and the boring will stop! I promise!
5) Prada? Honey, thems knock-offs.
6) Not ambitious enough to be a climber.
7) Unless we're going back 25 years, nope.
8) One is not a lot
9 & 10) NEVER. I swear.
11) What size? I'll replace it AND make you something. And also, Hello!!!!
12 -15) If I am any of those, please advise as that might require some emergency therapy.
Here this: I pretty much have NO IDEA where any of these people are now or what they are doing. So you are all, officially, safe.
Also: more butterflies and happiness and love later.
Promise.
Oh, i'm totally going to play. Prada in Small Town is just obnoxious.
You gotta keep it real. Sometimes sharing the truth is better than living in the land of butterflies and happiness.
I love my small town, but not always all the people in it. I love my Pradas and I don't pick/judge my friends or the short list of my "not favorites" by their footwear. And I always say "Hi"!
Hmmm. I could do about 12 of these. I will probably be stealing this very soon.
I am glad that I am not one of your "friends". Your bitterness has to be connected to individuals as they seem to be overly critical and honest reflections.
I also hope that you have nothing to do with any PTO that my child is involved with. You are a horrible role model for any young person and have a trash mouth.
You have a lot of mine covered! I am especially fond of the Pyrex dish one. Everytime I see a particular person, I'm thinking, "Seriously, your kid is 6 now! I brought that lasagna to you when she was born. I shouldn't have to keep asking. Those bastards are expensive, and I'm not planning to get married again anytime soon so there's no wedding showers in my future. Bring me my f'n Pyrex back already!"
1. Anonymous PTO moms are annoying. Trust me, I teach 375 kids a week, your child is just as fabulously average as everyone else. You can go ahead and get over yourself. Also go away.
2. My job is to teach your child not entertain him; if that is what you are looking for hire a magician.
3. Sometimes the mistress is pretty nice. Wife is not a sacred status.
4. Please don't tell me how hard it is to be a SAHM. I teach and go to night classes. I also am a mom. I may spit like a llama.
5. Have you considered that my values may just be different than yours?
Thanks for letting me play.
Dear Anonymous,
Thankfully, there are no children allowed here. Not even peaking over the shoulder. And my trash mouth? That's for grown up ears only as well and used far less often than you might think.
But have a great day!
Nice response. I also wanted you to know: none of my comments were aimed here. I think you're fab.
Thanks Heather. Because I'm actually all kinds of sad about Anonymous.
Sounds very much like my inner dialogue at times. I can get really pissed. Are you a Scorpio?
YYEEEEEEOOOOWWWW!!! I want the stories behind these!!!
Hey anonymous, why ya readin? You secret psycho sicko you. I'll bet you're wearing Prada...
Anonymous lives in the land of butterflies and happiness, were no one ever freely speaks their mind because there holier-than-thou mantra is stuffed down their throats!
Are you freaking kidding me, anonymous???!!!??? You need to get laid.
Oh, Anonymous. It's called venting, kvetching, unloading. It's what we girlfriends do. As I guest blogged earlier this summer, Ms. Picket is the ultimate mommy and role model. Clearly you've stumbled upon an area on the internet you may want to just steer clear of and return to your little land of sunshine, happiness and unicorns.
Anon is just worried that each and every one of your comments apply to her, in some way, directly from the mouths of her "friends". Totally.
And Picket? You rock.
Dy-ing to know the back story on these.
Sorry anonymous hurt your feelings. You know where her comment was targeted (at you) vs. your general, vague comments targeted at no one in particular. Um hi there kettle... you're black!
Seriously Anonymous?
I hardly think anyone was holding your face against the computer screen MAKING YOU READ ALL THE UNHOLY FILTH that I'm sure your teeny tiny narrow minded brain viewed it as.
And another thing? I seriously hope that you are not involved in any PTO that MY KIDS would be involved with because I would hate for them to learn that it is ok to be a narrow minded freak and have NO SENSE OF HUMOR.
you are the kind of person I would worry about going postal. Venting is healthy. You should try it sometime.
kisses!
Also, Anonymous, I hate to play grammar police, but if you are going to quote friends unquote in that supercilious way, the period goes INSIDE the quotation marks. As in, I am glad WE are not "friends."
Ms. Picket. Sending you internet hugs and big fat wet bloggy kisses. I'm sorry anonymous hurt your feelings. Geez it's a blog, a vent, a window into five minutes of a stream of thought. Not a whole, complicated, real live person.
On the bright side, I think getting a troll ups your blog score. ;-)
Can we add to this of things we hate BLURKERS who are actually TROLLS just trying to get a rise out of people and then try to justify this impossibly rude behavior by claiming social experimentation and moral fortitude - but, as we all know, are really just self-righteous pricks?
Go, Ms. Picket. Do your thang. :)
That was so fun to read (the hateful stuff). I'm so going to copy you and do the same post one day.
http://partywithaninfant.blogspot.com
Sounds to me like anonymous is not so much and maybe fits several of 1-15! just an observation!
So I think its great that you got that all out. Sometimes we have to be a little biotchy to stay so sweet! hehehe
I wouldnt let someone to embarrassed to actually get a login! Or sign a name!
YOU ROCK!
Eff Off Anonymous. Really? I mean, seriously?
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