Small Town Video Store

The Small Town video store is like crack to the Short Drunk People. The movies are good, but the free popcorn and the penny candy and the fact that we usually see at least one person we know there pushes the place into the awesome stratosphere. Naturally, I use it to get the dudes to do my bidding: wanna go to the Small Town video store, I say, well, then get your asses to the playroom and clean that shit up! It works every time which means I am a parenting genius.

When we first moved here, The Kid was obsessed with the owner of the place. Not in a stalker kind of way, but he very, very desperately wanted the guy to know his name and he wanted to walk in there and be greeted like he was walking into Cheers. I can't really explain this, except to say that The Kid also believes people should wave to each other when passing in their cars. He waves to everyone, like a frickin' beauty queen, and shakes his head in utter depression when drivers do not wave back. I think the waving and the video store guy knowing his name means something hugely important to The Kid, but I haven't yet figured out what that is.

The day the owner man said "Hey Kid" when we walked in for yet another movie to get over the hangover with watch, I honestly thought The Kid might cry.

So, since he's away (which means anything goes kids) and I really needed someone to clean the house, I took the Short Drunk People to the Small Town video store. Hi Small Town video store owner, they shouted. Hi Little Ms Pickets, he shouted back. And then he noticed the soccer shorts R was clutching in her hand. Why you have those Middle Picket, he asked.

And this is when I held my breath and hoped she would get all shy on me.

But noooooooo....

My mom said she would pay me TWO DOLLARS if I wore them in here on my head but I didn't want to 'cause B said I looked kinda dumb and I tried to get my mom to pay me FIVE DOLLARS to do it, but she said no and then I said I would do it anyway and my mom said it looks cool and that you would like it but then I thought maybe I really did look stupid with my shorts on my head and plus my mom owes me TEN DOLLARS anyway so I really don't need the TWO DOLLARS and also, I tried to make GFYO do it but he wanted to wear his Red Sox hat and so then I thought I would do it anyway and my mom said DO IT DO IT and then I said no. That's why I got my shorts Small Town video store owner.

And without missing even one beat, that incredibly cool man who knows all our names and doesn't hate me when I lose his movies and gives all three of my kids free popcorn, said, your dad used to wear his shorts on his head in here ALL THE TIME.

When I drove home, I waved at every car I passed.