The Stud and I once watched one of those true crime story shows (-- wait, before I go any further I need to correct my language to dispel any misconceptions: we didn't watch a show like that "once" because we watch shows like that all the time; in fact, there are probably three 20/20s and a couple Primetimes in the Tivo right now --) in which a man claimed that despite his wife's blood spattered on the walls and the floors and the steps to garage, he did not kill her: she just bled a lot. We howled over that, as we scanned our kidless, relatively clean house which was completely blood-free.
"Oh, my silly wife: there she goes gushing blood on the walls again!"
"Honey, did you hemorrhage in the garage today?"
"Sweeeeetheart, you left more of your brain matter on the kitchen cabinet!"
We were wicked, wicked funny back then, but we were also wicked stupid about the future that would soon become our lives. So now in life imitating TV imitating someone else's life, I know what to say when the cops come knocking. Oh, officer, I'll laugh, they just bleed a lot.
But unlike the above-mentioned dude who is sitting in jail somewhere, I will have photographic evidence to back up my claims. Like this
for example.
(Notice how I put out the educational dinosaur puzzle, but no! It's swording and slashing and clubbing right until the first kid falls with a wound, leaving DNA evidence all over my rug.)
7commentsBrilliant Person Wrote...
I gotta give GFYO some extra credit for wearing protective eyewear. He's wicked smaht.
I'm pleased to see that light sabers are still enjoyed by today's children.
You can just give up on keeping boys away from things to hit with. Ever. To this DAY, my husband cannot be trusted with a stick. It's the Y chromosome.
LOL- the dinosaur puzzle- classic! I'm like that with school lunches. I know Megan won't eat the fruit but I put it in there anyway just so her teacher doesn't think I'm a horrible mother.
Oh, and a great show recommendation for you (if it's not on your list already) is Snapped on the Oxygen channel. It's a 30 minute show about a wife/girlfriend/mistress documenting how the woman snapped and knocked off her husband/boyfriend.
Hey You - Are those flowers on your coffee table real? Bonus Points for a mom who can keep flowers in a GLASS vase on her coffee table - and not have it shattered. (btw - if they are real, what are they? Pretty)
Your decorating just isn't complete without the brain matter.
diggin' on the goggles.
It'll help keep the brain matter out of his eyes---he's always thinking ahead!
Advantage:GFYO
Ha! I bought light sabers for my younguns in a moment of temporary insanity. It has provided a LOT of fun but also a fair amount of bruising and broken picture frames.
No gore-splattering yet, though.
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